I was greeted by a turtle and a madam, and I chose a fat, white, tall and strong flower-based prostitute. I actually broke my virginity after sitting in the dark and drinking too much. I woke up at noon the next day and reached out and touched that soft body in the brocade quilt, which made me even more vague. I remembered the madness of the night before. I was splashed with ice water on the hot summer day. The girl was still naked and sleeping in the sky. The snow outside the window was sunny and the sunlight reflected. The big room was exceptionally bright and clear. I looked out the glass window at the side of the pillow.

It’s not worth it. It’s not worth it. I think I’m ambitious. I’m passionate about national ambitions. What else is there now?
There was a burst of regret in my heart and tears in my eyes. I wore a robe in the prostitute’s hall and leaned up half-length. I was so regretful that I kept sobbing. I really don’t know how many times I sat down until the girl woke up and accompanied me to take a shower and drank a few cups of hot wine before I returned to my usual state of mind. Three hours later, I frowned and leaned against the window. When I was driving to Gao Xue in the Imperial Palace, there was a wave in my mind that I had never seen before. It seems that someone will finish my body and blood in just one night yesterday.
Sink, just sink to the end. If you don’t go to hell, you can’t see that Buddha’s life is a complicated maze.
This is the translation of my confused thoughts at that time.
The end of January 1936
Jiangnan winter scenery
Anyone who has spent the winter in the north always knows that cooking tea around the stove, eating mutton, peeling peanuts and drinking dried peanuts, heating the kang and other equipment. No matter whether it is a few feet deep outside or the wind is thunderous, people live in the house for two or three months, but life is the most exciting part of the year. Needless to say, it is the top activity. The children are always nostalgic for the lively festivals such as the first day of the New Year’s Eve and the Lantern Festival.
But it’s different in Jiangnan. After winter, the leaves in the south of the Yangtze River don’t get rid of the cold wind, the northwest wind or the wind blows too much, but it’s too cold for a day or two. The morning frost is as white as a black woman’s face powder. In the early morning, when the sun is on one roof, the birds will release steam in the squeaky mud, and the old man and children can sit in the gap in front of the door and talk about their outdoor life. Isn’t this kind of winter scenery in the south of the Yangtze River very lovely?
When I was growing up in the south of the Yangtze River, I was deeply impressed by the winter in the south of the Yangtze River. Although I gradually became middle-aged and fell in love with late autumn, autumn is the most popular season for people who read, write and write. However, I always feel that the winter scenery in the south of the Yangtze River is worth a special emotional appeal in the northern summer night. To put it more modestly, it is a romantic emotional appeal.
I have also been to Fujian and Guangdong to spend the winter there. When it is extremely warm in the lunar year, I may have to take a gauze shirt and walk through the savage hedge. I can also see many miscellaneous autumn flowers. After a shower and thunder, it is better to cool down a little. It is absolutely impossible to change a jacket in Fujian and Guangdong. This kind of extreme southern climate is different. It is not that I say that the winter scenery in the south of the Yangtze River can call it the extension of spring or autumn in Changchun.
Jiangnan is rich in geology, moist and warm enough to support plants, so the reed flowers along the Yangtze River can survive in winter, and the red leaves will last for three months. Like the Chinese tallow trees on both sides of Qiantang River, the red leaves are backward and white. In the future, the true grass color of plum blossoms will become ochre at most, and the roots will always be a little green. Not only will the cold wind in wildfire never quite consumes them not blow down, but if you are willing to go for a walk in the winter suburbs alone in the afternoon, it will be clear.
Speaking of walking in the cold suburbs, it is really a special favor to live in the south of the Yangtze River in winter. People who grow up in the northern ice and snow will never enjoy this kind of opportunity to live a happy life all their lives. I don’t know that winter in Germany is compared with that in Jiangsu and Zhejiang, but many people take a walk in Spaziergang to create their own problems. It seems that the four seasons in southern Germany are always the same as those in the south of China. Let’s say that the 19 th century local poet Luo Zhege PeerRsegger18431918 wrote a lot of articles on this walk, but most of them did.
There are many rivers and harbors in the south of the Yangtze River, and there are many lakes and marshes in the air. Sometimes there will be light rain in winter, and the scene of winter rain in this slightly rainy and cold village is a state of being restless. Think about it. After autumn, three or five families gathered in a small village by the river, with doors facing the long bridge and windows facing the distant mound. Among them, there are many branches and miscellaneous trees. Sprinkle a layer of fine white rain with powder and a layer of light background on this winter rural map. Do you think it is leisurely enough? One awning boat can add a few noisy drinkers to the hut, and it can also add red and yellow to draw a circle in the window of the hut, which implies that when people reach this state, they will be free and easy, and finally they will lose everything and die. We should always remember the poet in the Tang Dynasty who made a quatrain in the rainy and rainy Jiangcun village. The poet is even polite to the greenwood hawkers here. What is this not the charming winter scenery in the south of the Yangtze River?
When it rains, it is inevitable to think that there’s a feeling of snow in the dusk outside can drink a cup of snow. However, it is the sunset snow scene in the south of the Yangtze River, and the snow moon, the plum blossom and the winter night, and the three friends meet together to flirt with the wine girl. Chai Men smells dogs and barks, and the snowy night is deeper and quieter in the south of the Yangtze River. Last night, a branch in Zita Law, the former village, got a Xue Cun boy to report the village scene like a dog. The poet’s poems may not be all written in the south of the Yangtze River, but it is not straightforward to fake these poems to describe the snow scene in the south of the Yangtze River
In the past few years, there may be no rain or snow in the south of the Yangtze River. It will be a little colder at the end of the spring lunar calendar or early February. Chun Xue was here last winter in 1934. I’m afraid I have to calculate the solar terms this winter. It will be about seven days at the end of February in 1936 at most. Like this, the winter villagers call it dry winter, which is better for wheat, but the population will be damaged for a long time. Diseases such as diphtheria and influenza are easy to get rid of, but people who want to enjoy the winter scenery in the south of the Yangtze River will fall in this winter. I will feel happier, because there are more opportunities to go for a walk in the suburbs on sunny days, but there are also many days when people call Hikeng and Germans call Spaziergang crazy, which is the most welcome in winter.
The weather outside the window is as sunny as late autumn. The sunshine in Gao Shuang lures you to sit still in your room. I don’t want to write this kind of essay any more. I’d better pick up my cane and put it aside for a walk in the paper and pen lake.
December 1, 1935
I don’t know when and where I saw these poems. I gently read them orally, and my feet closed and I slowly walked away on a road outside the city.
Money in my pocket makes me hate chatting like this, so I’ll be exhausted. Poverty is the biggest disaster, and wealth is the luckiest.
The meaning of the poem is about nothing more than this. I think everything in real life is done here, but it is depressing and poor. I am so happy and rich. I never come near my eyes and stare at the front. I step forward step by step with my feet. Although I am whispering in my mouth, I am still complaining.
It’s a sunset afternoon, and the shadow of winter will soon gather brilliance. The air outside the city seems to be condensed. It’s scattered there in the field of vision. The gray walls are frozen, the rivers are sandy, the land is barren, and several clumps of withered and sparse trees are covered with a weak setting sun. There is always loneliness in front of people, and the first few pedestrians have no influence in my mind because they are too far away from me. I think their bodies are scattered along the road, and several mud houses stand far to the left. The church hall is all the same kind of things. Of course, there is no connection and no emotion.
Hey, I don’t know what I’m doing here.
When I was tired of singing, I gave a sigh and walked slowly. My head was getting darker and darker.
It’s true that my recession came too early. When a person walks alone in the suburbs like this, wouldn’t it be nice if I can suddenly digest the same pile of Chun Xue like hot soup? In retrospect, I feel that my life in the past 20 years has been very long. I have never done anything, and I have also given birth to a woman. I have also studied and passed the exam several times, crying, laughing, whoring, gambling, eating, being angry and being bullied. I have experienced all kinds of things. Wait a minute, let me think about it again. Nothing I haven’t experienced. I haven’t died at home yet. I’m still swearing. When I was so angry, I enlarged my throat and cursed the enemy. One thing is the pleasure of revenge. I haven’t felt it yet. I haven’t been in prison yet. Alas, if I have experienced all these things, I haven’t had a knot yet. Hey, hey, yeah, here my mind is broken again.
Money in my pocket makes me hate chatting like this, so I’ll be exhausted. Poverty is the greatest disaster, and wealth is the greatest luck.
I read the poem again slightly. I looked up and felt that the sun seemed to set to the west and fell to the right. The shadow of the road grew longer. A few rickshaws came from behind and slowly passed me. While letting them pass, I listened to the drivers and drivers talking a few fragments there. Their topic seemed to be about women. Ah, I can envy you fickleness. You are about to buy happiness in the loess pit in front. I hate it when I see you.
While thinking about it, I walked to the northwest and unconsciously reached the Beijing-Suiyuan railway route. After a few steps in the northeast, I passed through the white house hell and went to Xizhimen. The desolate twilight approached from my gray and yellow surroundings, and the inclined red sun lowered step by step. The beautiful sunset didn’t stay long, but my house sank soon in meditation, but the sudden scenery on all sides told me that the shadows of objects were gradually scattered in this wilderness, and the breeze was blowing from nowhere with a kind of misery. Walking around behind the chill, there came another freight carriage. A coachman with a smooth skin sat silently on the front of the carriage and ate cigarettes. I suddenly felt that it was cold and cold. It was like a person wandering outside the white house in Russia. Several old black rickshaws stopped there. The coachman sat on the pedals and rested. I couldn’t see their shadow. I avoided the white house hell and planned to go through Xizhimen Avenue from a high place. I saw the gray scenes arranged in disorder from this height. I felt it even more.
Alas, alas, I really don’t know what life is all about. Songs and songs cry to death, and the world will meet brothers, friends, wives and parents, and they will still be in love, and they will be scared to fall in love and return money.
Good poetry, good poetry.
Good poetry, good poetry.
My mixed thoughts spread like this again, and the cold wind whined a few times at the height of the sky. I bent my head and walked to the northeast. It was almost dark.
I can see some lights by the river far outside the city, and the stars are shining in the purple-blue sky. The road is intermittently paced by carriages and wheels. It seems that the response of life is empty. When I followed the road, the lights went off. When the goal was approaching Xizhimen, it was blurred and there was a thunderbolt in my mind. At this time, it often fluctuated in my mind. Those thoughts of unification appeared as a thunderbolt at a central point.
I am a real Yu.
This is the core of thunderbolt, and many other ideas are just those attached to this thunderbolt, so I suddenly found the center of thought, and I went to the scientific method to speculate.
I’m really an amateur. It’s easy to prove that there is no evidence of whether the society is complete or not.
By this time, my feet have been running around Xizhimen Street, and people are much more mixed than outside the city. In the past few days, several broken shops and stalls next to the underworld have been lit.
First, I’ll talk about it from a distance. First, I’m finished with the world. I was born here, and human beings in the world can’t benefit from it. On the contrary, if I die, there will be no damage to the world. Second, it’s true. Let’s talk about China. For such chaos in China, I can’t build a bomb to kill a bad guy. What’s wrong with China giving birth to me and raising me? Let’s shrink it a little bit. Third, let’s talk about my family. When I was studying in a foreign country, If you want to cry until your eyes are red and swollen, you are a semi-male mother. When I was drunk and died at a friend’s house, I was so anxious that I burst into tears. At this time, my woman and children were of course few, and I had to haha. Fortunately, I was still a person.

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